Gardening families
It won’t be long and I’ll be celebrating my fiftieth birthday, the Lord willing, and upon reflection I thought I’d share a couple of things I’ve learned along the way.
My mother was not known for her eloquent speech. She did not have a vast vocabulary. She found English to be a tiresome and difficult language. But without saying too much, she taught me, her wayward daughter, a very valuable lesson. Through her quiet example I saw her live her life with contentment. Although she had many burdens – with her health, her financial situation, family disagreements outside her control, as well as her troublesome child – she had a very certain hope in her Lord and obeyed His Word by devoting her life to her husband, children and church community.
When I was blessed with a husband and then later with a family, I was confronted with the reality of my role as a woman. Up to that point I was pretty adept at looking out for Number One – myself! But now I needed to focus on others. That required a determination to consciously rethink the old ways and learn a better way to be satisfied and content.
Our culture encourages women to believe that the only way for them to feel fulfilled and useful is to work outside the home. It is only there that you can stimulate your mind and make a valuable contribution to society! But how wrong they are! What could be of more use to our society than to nurture our children and watch them develop into strong, independent, thoughtful, Christian young men and women who are capable of maintaining loyal relationships, hard work and logical thought. And all this requires a deep commitment of time and energy on the part of the parents, particularly the mother.
When I looked at the Bible’s “super woman” in Proverbs 31, it struck me that she was a very intelligent, thoughtful, industrious lady. This passage encouraged me to view a woman’s role in a different light. This woman is no wimp!
She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong … She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.
She doesn’t sit at home with her feet up watching all the TV soaps. No, she works hard to provide for her family in every way. She supports her husband by managing the household well, providing that physical, mental and emotional help for each individual in that unit. That’s time-consuming hard work!
Each of us has been given certain abilities. I have a passion for gardening. I’ve tried to use this gift for the benefit of my family as well as for my own relaxation. We bought our first property in Masterton and, along with a very small house, we had a half-acre paddock where we raised chickens, sheep and a calf, as well as an orchard and large veggie garden. It was always our aim to grow our own food; we had such satisfaction when we could say that everything on the dinner plate was raised on our own section. We took great pride in providing for our family in this way with inexpensive, nourishing meals. And alongside the practical vegetable gardens, I was always keen to enrich our lives with a good selection of beautiful flowers and trees.
Gardening and nurturing children are similar in many ways. Each takes a great deal of effort and patience, but the reward is unbelievable. To reap that reward you must cultivate a spirit of determination and self-discipline. You must be willing to rework the same patch of ground repeatedly. And in each season – each stage in your child’s life – learn to sit back and enjoy all that hard work. Remember to sustain yourself with prayer and God’s Word so that you can keep on with the work.
A Christian home should be an oasis for all the members in it. I believe that as the wife and mother I was responsible to cultivate a restful, happy atmosphere in our home and provide a loving and contented example. Obviously, I have only given my family a flawed example, and need to own up to my faults. Don’t be fooled by the world’s opinion; all this is hard work, and very stimulating!
And thank you, Mum, for your good example to me.